The Jewish Gay Network Fights for Its Own Life as Well as the Lives of Others

An organization I helped found and about which I care deeply is fighting for its life right now.  I won't bore you with all kinds of details.  Suffice it to say that the economy has taken a toll on the community's ability to support our work.  We are figuring out how to streamline our operations and continue to do good things for the Jewish LGBTQIA community here in Detroit.

That's what I want to talk about.  It's the local part.  We don't only affect the people in our local area.  What we do here can have effects we can only guess at.  When we helped two seniors at our local Jewish High School to start a GSA and then they went off to college, the experience, no doubt, had reverberations that affected people we don't know and probably never will.

When we go into a supplementary school to do diversity/inclusion training with the faculty and anti-bullying training with the students, our influence can also travel far, wide, and for a long time.

We could even serve as a model for a Jewish Gay Network of Iowa or Kansas or Florida or Belgium for that matter.  You never know!  Or a model for a Christian Gay Network or a Muslim Gay Network.

These are just a few examples.  I can think of so many more.  The point is that where you live should not matter.  Yes, in Judaism we are told to take care of those in our "neighborhood" first.  The problem is that those in our neighborhood are hurting financially.  They are hard-pressed to give.  That is why I am asking everyone, everywhere, to participate in our campaign to continue working in the Detroit Jewish LGBTQIA community for another year.

Please click HERE.  Watch the video I made to tell about who the Jewish Gay Network is and what it does.  Then pledge whatever you can afford, small or large, to help us on our way.  The Point campaign is one that ensures you will not be charged unless there is a critical mass of support for an idea or a group.  That is why I used the word "pledge."  Your credit card will not be charged unless we reach our goal of $9600 by December 31st.  WE STILL HAVE $4,111 TO GO!

Enough said.  You know this is important.  You know people who are LGBTQIA.  Maybe you are a member of this tribe.  Please share what you have with us.  You never know what or how much good you will do!

Priorities

This morning's snow needs
Shoveling. I drop my son
And do yoga first.

Dreading Winter

First thick, sticky snow
Fell last night and lined each twig
Needle, branch, and trunk


In spite of myself
I liked the suggestion, the
Decorative touch


White-arced, slick, black streets
I wish I'd snapped a picture
Before it melted

Great-Horned Owls--and Others--in the 'Burbs

I thought it was thrilling on Monday night to hear, through an open window, a Great-Horned Owl somewhere near our house as I got into bed.  Imagine my excitement last night, when, sitting in the family room working at the computer, I heard, through windows closed against the 28 degree F chill, not one, but two owls hooting their hoarse calls over one another.  I opened a kitchen window and stood giggling with delight every time they repeated their calls for over fifteen minutes.

It's not the first time I've heard a Great-Horned Owl.  That was several years ago.  I awoke from a deep sleep in my parents condo guest room in Pittsfield, MA, in the Berkshire mountains.  We were there on one of our summer visits.  I lay in bed, wide-eyed, straining to hear every note.  Yet, one expects to hear wild creatures of the night in the mountains.  Here in the suburbs, the presence of wildness is less predictable, more of surprising when it occurs.

Over the last several years, the number of species--both avian and mammal--frequenting our suburban Detroit neighborhood has grown.  If you've never been to this area, you may not realize that there is little organic about its layout.  Major streets, for the most part, go North-South or East-West, spaced one mile apart.  Mostly flat, the edges of the mile-squares they create are trimmed with commercial spaces, professional offices, and other non-residential structures, while the insides of each mile are filled with private housing--subdivisions the locals call them.  Lower and moderately-priced housing is typical of most American suburbs.  The lots are one quarter- to one third-acre.  The houses range from 1000-3000 square feet, including basements.  The older subdivisions tend to have more, and more mature, trees than the newer ones.  We live in a square mile that was developed in the early 1960s.

Then there are tracts of land, somewhat hillier and more woodsy, where wealthier folks dwell.  Their properties and houses are less regular, more amply apportioned and separated from their neighbors by patches of woods that were not disturbed when their houses were built.  And many of these property-owners, lately, have been selling parts of their lots for use by people who want to build a new house, or developing part of their own land to sell off.  My theory is that, as the habitats birds and mammals have lived in for decades are cut up, cleared out, and built on, they are moving, however reluctantly, to nearby subdivisions that have settled down since the last time they traversed these lands.  Brush that didn't exist before has established itself.  Trees that were newly planted saplings in the early '60s, when these lands were developed, tower, fully grown now.  So the kind of subdivision where I live is the next best thing to where they have been hanging out for the last several decades.  The birds have it easy.  They can fly across automobile-laden roads.  If those on foot make it across two to four lanes of two-way, 40-45 MPH traffic, they add to the growing impression I have that we are living in a mini-wildlife preserve.

During the spring migration last May, I was so impressed by the number of new species I saw on my property that I made a list of all the birds and mammals I had seen in this vicinity--within a mile or two of my house, on my property, or in the skies over my property.  By the end of the summer, I had listed over 50 species of birds (several nesting here), four species of squirrels, and several other mammals, including fox and coyote.  I suppose, after all, this is their land, and we are mere tenants.  When their digs are flooded with and destroyed by development, they retreat to "higher" ground. (I flatter myself!)  And with the exception of the woodchucks who feasted on my cucumber, nasturtium, and carrot leaves last summer, I welcome them with pleasure.

Little Things 2: The plainest day

Overcast.  Intermittent rain.  I missed my window to go outside and harvest the last of my herbs. The light is already dimming.

My son reads his homework on the futon.  The dishes are all washed.  Julia arrives home with a treat in her bag for all of us:  pre-season (packaged) egg nog--organic, naturally, because if you're going to splurge, you want the cleanest, the purest, sweets.  My son smacks his lips with wide eyes.

In just a few minutes, we will meet with another possible caterer for our son's bar mitzvah in February.  This is the third option we've explored.  It's not easy having a bar mitzvah while one of us is unemployed and the other is underemployed.

Nothing is easy.  Yet everything is good when I pay attention.  Everything is just fine.  We have nothing to complain about.  Oh, yes, aches and pains here and there.  Nothing serious.

Just a great deal to be grateful for, even on a cloudy day with winter on its way.

Joan Baez Sparkles at the Michigan Theater

I was blessed to attend a concert given by Joan Baez at the Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor tonight.  Wow!  Her violin-like voice has matured into a rich, earthy cello.  She makes alterations to melodies to accommodate changes in her vocal ability, and never has she sounded so musical.  There is a mellowness to her performance, yet her energy is strong and keen.  I enjoyed thoroughly her channeling of Bob Dylan in the last several lines of  "Don't Think Twice It's All Right."  Her "Suzanne" was haunting.  She sang a song I did not recognize in support of Occupy Wall Street "and everywhere else," as she put it.  It charged us to think of the common people, the lowly of birth, the working people.  (If anyone knows which song I'm referring to, please leave a comment.)  Her rendition of "Jerusalem" moved me to tears.  I, too, long for the day when "the children of Abraham will put down their swords" and live in peace.

I was struck by Joan's repeated compliments to the audience.  The first comment went something like, "You are  great audience.  Some nights I really have to work. Other nights I get to play.  Tonight I get to play."  Apparently, she doesn't always get an audience that has been appreciating her for over 50 years.  The house was filled to the brim with folks who were probably teenagers anytime between 1960 and 1975.  (My!  Do I look that old?)

At nearly 71 (her birthday is in January), Joan appears healthy, sparkling brightly from the stage, and glowing with inner, as well as outer beauty.  It was a privilege to be in her audience.  She is one of the great singer-songwriter-activists of our generation!

Here are some websites about Joan Baez for those who'd like to learn more.  You can find lots of her music on YouTube.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Baez
http://www.joanbaez.com/officialbio08.html (The photo above appears at this web location. I borrowed it and would gladly credit the photographer if I knew who took it.)

“Justice, justice you shall pursue:” A kavvanah before Ashamnu

An acrostic, the Ashamnu is translated in various ways.  One translator, choosing to create an acrostic in English that parallels the Hebrew, if not literally translating it, has us confess as a community to xenophobia—fear of or antipathy toward the stranger, the “other.”  I often wonder as I chant, “We are xenophobic,” if it really applies to me.  After all, I am, at heart, a lover of diversity and of all kinds of people.

So maybe I don’t have a xenophobic approach to the world in attitude.  However, I propose to you that I am guilty—perhaps most of us are—of not doing enough to secure the civil rights of others, be they children, women, gay, lesbian, or transgender, people of color, immigrants, or people of low socioeconomic status—at least some of whom, by the way, are other Jews.

Our tradition teaches us:

V’ahavta l’reyacha kamocha.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  –Hillel

Kol yisrael arevim ze ba’zeh.  All Israel is responsible one for another.  (And this can be expanded to include all people.)  –Tradition

Tzedek, tzedek tirdof.  Justice, justice you shall pursue.  –Deut. 16:20

Like it or not, whatever our attitude, if our actions are not pursuing justice (first for ourselves: one “tzedek,” then for others: the second “tzedek”) then perhaps we are guilty as a community, and as individuals, of xenophobia.

I wish all those observing Yom Kippur an easy and meaningful fast.  G'mar chatimah tovah. May you finish [the fast] sealed [in the Book of Life] for a good year.

Why did the weekend fly by so quickly?

Because Shabbat is one kind of freedom and Sunday is yet another.

Because family time is precious as our son grows up quickly, too.

Because the sun shone and the breeze blew and the birds flitted, called, and sang.

Because hanging out with friends is a sweet pleasure.

Because time really does speed up when I’m relaxing and having fun.

I’m grateful for a weekend that flew by.

Little Things 1: Math Homework

As I sit here in my peaceful house on a greyish day, anticipating Shabbat--the Jewish Sabbath--and remembering 9/11/2001, I realize it's the little things...

My son lies on the deck doing his math homework out loud, the neighbor's cat stretched out next to him, listening and purring so loud I can hear from inside.  Math has ever been a thorn in my boy's side and Jax (the cat) has always been a comfort.  The boy also has a teacher this year whose teaching style is far more suited to his learning style than last year's teacher was.   So, his math anxiety decreases every day.  And math homework time doesn't raise my blood pressure and test my patience.   My son sounds calm and happy as he works, and I am grateful.

Suffering in the Privacy of Our Tents—

 

A D’var Torah on Parashat Balak

 

By Beth Greenapple

 

 

(This d'var Torah, literally "words of Torah" or sermon, was delivered at Congregation Beth Ahm in West Bloomfield, MI, on Saturday, July 9, 2011, as part of its Summer Sermon Series, which invites congregants to become guest speakers.)

 

In Parashat Balak, we hear the story of a wizard, Bilaam, hired by a king, Balak, to curse the Israelites.  When Bilaam opens his mouth to utter the curse, out comes a blessing:

 

Ma tovu ohalecha Ya’akov, mishk’notecha Yisrael!

 

How good are your tents, Jacob, your dwellings, Israel!

 

What accounts for this spontaneous outburst of beneficence?

 

The parasha itself explains that Bilaam could only say the words G-d put in his mouth.  Midrash explains it differently, telling us Balak saw how our tents were positioned so that the opening to one tent faced an unbroken outer wall of another.  No two tent openings faced each other, thereby preserving privacy, the sanctity of family, and modesty, really important Jewish and human societal values.

 

However, like any ideal, the preservation of privacy can be taken too far if we become oblivious to the suffering of our neighbors.

 

In Deut. 16:20, the Torah tells us, “Tzedek, tzedek tirdof.”—"Justice, justice you shall pursue."

 

These are mighty words.  And, as the Torah never wastes words, when a word is repeated, there is meaning to be gleaned.

 

I believe the first “tzedek”—“justice” —is for ourselves.  The second is for our neighbor.

 

As suggested by the announcement about oxygen masks on a plane, “Should there be a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the panel above you.  Please secure your own mask before helping the person next to you,” if we don’t take care of ourselves first, we cannot be in a position to help another.  As it is with airplane oxygen masks, so it is with justice.  Oxygen.  Justice.

 

Now for the phrase, “you shall pursue.”  “Shall” is a command.  It expresses obligation, determination, and certainty.  “To pursue” is to chase after. Not just to have an interest in or stay abreast of, but to actively, aggressively go after and take actions to ensure justice.

 

We—the American Jewish community—understood this when Black Americans were fighting for equal civil rights under the law back in the 60s.  Rabbis got involved.  Other Jews got involved.  We marched.  We wrote letters.  We argued.  We lobbied.  We voted.  We helped change laws.

 

Now, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered—LGBT/GLBT—people are fighting for our civil rights.  Not just the right to marry—to have equal, legal recognition for our relationships and families—also, for basic civil protections from discrimination.

 

My family and I have felt welcome here at Beth Ahm since the moment we set foot in the door.  In fact, for the most part, we have felt welcomed and embraced in the Detroit Jewish Community.  We love your smiles and hugs, and we love being treated like any other Jew who walks into the building or any building in our community.  We are greeted with warmth and concern.  Now, it’s time go beyond that.  Perhaps, though, you need more information about what exactly is going on in our tents that we experience as suffering.

 

First, a story that underlines a few of the many basic civil rights heterosexual married people enjoy and probably take for granted:

 

Two Michigan women in a committed relationship choose to start a family. With the help of reproductive technology, one is impregnated with an embryo created from the other woman’s egg and donor sperm. The baby has a gestational relationship to the carrier, a genetic relationship to her partner.  Both adore him from the moment he is conceived. 

 

Unfortunately, only one of them has a legal relationship to the baby when he is born.  His birth certificate only bears the name of the carrier. Wherever they go, they have to bring with them documents drawn up by a lawyer so that, in case of an emergency, the unrecognized parent can make decisions on behalf of the child, or even be spoken to as a parent by doctors, caregivers, teachers, and others governed by privacy laws.  Only by a stroke of luck and timing—one renegade Michigan judge, for a short time, was granting dual, same-sex-parent adoptions, because the laws then on the books did not specifically prohibit them—is the couple able to effect a legal adoption that names both as parents.  Yet they still have to carry their adoption papers with them everywhere they go, because the state will still not issue a proper birth certificate.  Then, Governor Jennifer Granholm takes office and orders Michigan’s government to issue a birth certificate with both parents’ names on it to the handful of couples fortunate enough to have received a dual, same-sex-parent adoption judgement.  And here’s a glimpse deep into the couple’s tent:  Because the judge wanted to make sure no one could challenge the adoption she granted, there were ten minutes during the proceeding when both of women had to sign away all rights to their child, so that the baby was “available” for adoption. Both mothers experienced those ten minutes as the longest, most terrifying ten minutes of their lives. Take a moment to imagine signing away all rights to your baby.

 

Here are other real-life examples of injustice and suffering of which you may not be aware:

• A lesbian who, upon her spouse giving birth to a premature baby with health issues, is told by medical staff that she is not the “real mother” and is not allowed to know details or even be in the room with the love of her life and their newborn—not to mention the birth mother not having the presence and support of her spouse in a very personal, medical crisis. Ironically, the spouse is a pediatrician, but the staff won’t even talk to her as a fellow medical professional. The child is now nine. The mothers still feel enraged at this treatment.

• A gay male couple arrives at a local emergency room for one of them to receive treatment for asthma. The partner is kept completely out of the loop, unable even to give medical history, while the patient struggles just to breathe, never mind answer questions.  The staff will not inform him of his partner’s progress. These two men have lived together as if married for 27 years. To this day, the partner chokes up when he tells the story of being legally demeaned and denied.

• Upon returning to work from a holiday weekend, a gay man participates in casual office conversations with co-workers.  When the conversation turns to spouses’ incompatible tastes in food, he avoids or changes pronouns and names, because he can be fired if his boss finds out he’s gay—unlike Balak who actually had to do something in opposition to his job description to deserve to be fired!

• A girl in school who is perceived to be boyish is teased mercilessly by classmates that she is gay, until she begs her parents to move her to another school. The school is not obligated by law to do anything about the vicious behavior.  This girl doesn’t even know what it means to be sexual, much less homosexual.  The teasing began when she was nine-and-a-half.

• Two men, postgraduate fellows who have a two-year teaching contract, and who met at new-faculty orientation at a local university, fill out a rental application for an apartment near campus, though not in a traditional university housing neighborhood.  They are denied the apartment because the landlord assumes they are a gay couple and can legally discriminate against them. Their weeks-long search, and imposition on friends as hosts, is forced to continue as the semester begins.

 

Everyone knows someone who is gay: A member of your family, a co-worker, a friend or a friend’s child or parent, a business owner whose store you frequent.  It’s time for all of us to come out, not just LGBT people themselves.  I’m going to help you take the first step toward becoming active, out-of-the-closet allies.

 

Think for a moment and then hold up the number of fingers that represents the number of GLBT people you, personally, know.  If everyone does not hold up one finger, I’ll be surprised.  After all, you know me.  If you know ten or more, hold up both hands. 

 

Look around, everyone...   Thank you.

 

Now, I want to tell you what the next steps are:

 

Short-term:  The Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act was written and passed in 1976. It “enumerated” several “classes” of people who were to be protected from discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodations.  It has since been amended to now prohibit such discrimination based on religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, height, weight, and marital status.  It must be amended further to enumerate sexual orientation, gender identity—how a person feels regardless of how he or she was born—and gender expression (think of the examples I just gave about people who were perceived to be different from the norm, whether or not they actually were).  Learn about the proposal to amend the act and work toward its passage.  Our legislators especially need to hear from faith communities in order to answer those who claim, against us, to know for certain G-d’s personal opinion.

 

Long-term:  This state, in 2004, passed an amendment to our constitution, a document originally intended to protect the rights of all citizens, and that now denies the rights of some citizens.  The amendment defines marriage as “between one man and one woman for any purpose.”  That has got to go. It is being used not only to deny loving couples the right to marry (something I am proud to say my home state of New York just granted!), but to deny children and spouses in families headed by lesbians and gays working for state institutions and unions the right to health care and other benefits.  It makes our state wildly unpopular for business and labor, does further damage to our already broken economy, and likely has a trickle-down effect on you and your business, believe it or not.  Equal rights are good for everyone in a society.

 

A link to the Jewish Gay Network of Michigan, an organization educating and fighting for equal—not special—rights for LGBT people, is HERE.  You can also "Like" our Facebook page to get updates about events and activities of the JGN.  Here, too, are links to Equality Michigan and the ACLU LGBT Project.  Please, click on the links.  Begin to learn and contribute time, energy, ideas, and funds to our fight.  Become an active ally!

 

Lo alecha ha’m’lacha ligmor, v’lo ata ben chorin l’hibateyl mimena.

 

Tzedek, tzedek tirdof.

 

It is not upon you to complete the work.  And neither are you free to desist from starting and contributing to the active pursuit of justice for yourself and all people.

Eem eyn ani li, mi li?   If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

Uch’sheh ani l’atzmi, ma ani?   And if I am only for myself, what am I?

 

Your neighbors are suffering in their tents.

 

Hugs and smiles will always be wonderful—please, keep them coming!

 

And these are no longer enough.

 

V’eem lo achshav, eymatai?

 

And if not now, when?

 

 

Shabbat shalom!  (Sabbath peace/completeness!)